Are You Right or Wrong?

Most people think they’re right and they’re wrong. And, a lot of people think there’s something wrong with them and they’re right. Okay, let me explain.

I’ve had a barrage of “wrong thinkers” telling me their stories lately. They come to me with all of the details about what is going on. They are convinced it’s all true and they’re trying to convince me to buy into it.

The thing is they aren’t aware that it’s not true and they also don’t feel like they are trying to convince anyone…they believe they are simply stating the facts. Period.

This is their life, this is what is happening and nothing will change it because it’s the truth. WRONG!

But before I expound on this….let me get back to the second part in the first sentence that I want to explain about people thinking there is something wrong with them.

When you believe there is something wrong with you and I say, “You’re right,” it’s because the only thing wrong with you is that you buy into your own b.s. that there is something wrong with you!

The only thing wrong with you is your “wrong thinking!” Oh, I know, we all have our issues that cause us to question ourselves but that’s another talk show…I want to get back to the subject at hand.

When you believe a certain set of facts about WHATEVER your situation is, regardless if they’re true or not; and, then you continually drive these beliefs into your brain or your subconscious mind by what you tell yourself over and over again, by how you explain your situation in words to others and by your actions….get ready for a news flash….

You’re setting yourself up to feel bad, to struggle with your life, to make things harder on yourself and ultimately, you’re stopping yourself from really getting what you want to have or what you deserve in life.

And, you’re doing it all by yourself…All by your “wrong thinking!”

Okay so here come the examples; right or wrong? The names have been changed to protect the innocent!

Chloe is turning 50 in 3 weeks and is having a meltdown. Her words:

I can’t bear the thought that I’m turning 50. I hate it. Now I’m old! I don’t want to be turning 50 and divorced and have no one in my life. People judge you when you’re not in your forties anymore, they think you’re old.

I said….you’re judging you just like these so called people you say are judging you. YOU are the one that is putting this death sentence on yourself just because you’re turning 50. Your life is over according to you. No one will want you and you are over the hill.

Wow! I guess she’s right. Her life is over. She might as well crawl up in a hole because she knows that everything she says is the truth. That’s that and there’s nothing you can do about it!

Tami is 47. Here’s the story she likes to tell and she actually buys into this, her words:

I hate my life. Nothing good ever happens to me. I’m tired and I can’t do this anymore. No one is ever going to love me because I’m damaged goods. There is something wrong with me. I can’t find love and never will. I hate being alone. (That part might be true.) And, I’m just going to go numb to it all and stop feeling.

Alrighty then…what do you say to that? She’s right, you’re wrong and she’s convinced. Of course you know that in ALL of these examples I had a lot to say about setting them straight but this blog would be too long if I added that too.

Caroline is old and will never meet anyone…I’m not sure but I think she’s 60ish. Her words:

All men cheat. There are no good men. If there are, they’re all married. I’m old and I’m going to just accept it. I’m going to let my hair go grey, don’t want any kind of cosmetic help because I’m not going to meet someone anyway. (Mind you part of this is good…when you can grow old gracefully!) Men don’t know how to treat women right and I give up on finding someone.

Wow…it sounds terrifying…you think Chloe turning 50 was bad…I guess life is over at 60, who knew?

Steve is married to an alcoholic but he has obligations; kids, financial stuff and mostly guilt. He chooses to live his life in an unhappy marriage, thinking it’s not a choice, because that’s just the way it is. Period. If he would only let go of his self-imposed guilt and his fears about what’s on the other side of marriage…well he doesn’t know what he’s missing.

Then there’s Jimmy….sad story that I won’t get into but it gets sadder because he buys into his own preconceived guilt about doing the right thing at his own expense. He buys into the guilt trip from his mother in law and God knows he’s done an incredible job of being unconditionally loving, unselfishly caring, and being as responsible as humanly possible, but alas, sometimes that just isn’t good enough but he keeps trying to please everyone.

What do all of these people and many others have in common?

They allow their fears and guilt form their beliefs even if they are unfounded, irrational and hurtful.

Then they become imprisoned “wrongly thinking” there is no way out.  They believe that this is simply the way it is, so they accept it. When in reality it is their un-acceptance of reality that is causing them to suffer.

They resist what is. They impose their own unreasonable and unjust thinking into their lives and the result is living in this kind of misery that they ironically bring to themselves.

As Victor Frankl so aptly put it: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

 

You CAN choose to think of things any way you want, right or wrong…what do you choose?

 

Wishing you a great weekend full of fun, laughter and right thinking! Missed you and love you…Susan


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