Sometimes things simply don’t turn out the way we want them to and depending on how you choose to deal with it will determine when and how you move on from it.
When you choose to accept reality and look your situation square in the face without making excuses about it, or lying to yourself about it or holding onto hope that things might change is when you set yourself free from it.
You free yourself from seeing the situation for anything else except what it is. When you can be totally honest with yourself and come to the realization that your situation is what it is and nothing is going to change what it is; is when you can begin to put it behind you.
Acceptance is the first step in moving forward. Instead of dwelling on what it could’ve been or what you believe it should’ve been; you accept it for what it is.
You may not like it. You may wish that things worked out differently and you may not want to accept it. But until you accept it you will only make yourself miserable by continuing to hold onto it.
Holding on to it causes you to dwell on it. It can make you feel bitter, angry, resentful, and jealous. Plus you’ll experience a whole lot of other negative emotions that go along with holding on and wallowing in all of the unanswered questions as to what went wrong and why.
The truth is you can go round and round about why things happened the way they did. You can go around and ask all of your friends and family what they think the other person is thinking and you may even ask the person point blank yourself.
But, what good does it do? What do you accomplish? First of all, no one knows what this person is thinking, was thinking or is going to think in the future, so since most of your friends and family members are probably not mind readers it’s an exercise in futility.
You can also ask the person face to face but who’s to say they’re going to be honest with you about it.
So, all of your energy is used to try and figure out something that you will probably never have the answer to anyway so why waste your time?
Okay, so maybe you can waste a little time in the beginning. I’ll give you that. You do need to process it and try and figure out how to pick up the pieces after your world was just shattered.
But…and that is a big but. It’s when you won’t let it go and allow it to consume you for months on end is when you need a big shot of reality.
And the reality is that no matter how much you wish things were different, it is what it is and no amount of wishing is going to change a thing.
What will change everything is your attitude about it. Your outlook and how you choose to view it can make all the difference in how you experience whatever it is you’re going through.
And, that is the optimum word; through. No matter what it is, you will get through it!
You can choose to make it worse by holding on to it or you can accept it and move on from here. What do you choose?
Thanks for the help on the CupidsPulse article…I love you guys. Have a great weekend!
“How ‘bout a shot of truth in that denial cocktail.”-Jennifer Salaiz
Has it ever occurred to you that you can choose how you feel? Most people think that their circumstances or events determine how they feel.
There’s no doubt that certain situations can arise in your life that will rock your world. And depending on your circumstances you may wish you had a magic wand to make them disappear.
Adversity knocks at everyone’s door at one time or another. Our circumstances change constantly. But the only thing that doesn’t change is the fact that you have control over how you choose to handle these things.
At the onset of any kind of emotional upheaval you’re going to have your immediate and initial reactions which may not be all good. As a matter of fact assuming it’s a negative situation you’re more than likely going to have lot negative debris whirling through your mind. That’s normal.
But once you begin to process the reality of the situation it’s up to you how long you’ll dwell on it allowing it to eat away at your peace and happiness or when you decide that you’re going to let it go and move on.
There are three ways to pull yourself up when it feels like life is dragging you down.
Your perspective will make all the difference in how you experience whatever is going on in your life and it will directly affect how you feel. And the good news is you can actually choose your perspective!
When things aren’t going as you’d planned you can dig yourself deeper in a hole by worry, fear and anxiety over the situation. Or, you can choose to bring yourself up by the way you think about it. Your thoughts have the power to change how you feel.
When we are feeling bad about something we have a tendency to dwell on it. Possibly even become consumed with it. It’s like the snowball effect. The more we think about it the bigger it becomes.
But if you can learn to shift your mind from what makes you feel bad to what you have in your life to be grateful for; that tiny shift will can begin to change your perspective and thus how you feel. YOU choose where to focus your thoughts. Where do you focus yours?
Believe it or not, whatever you believe, you’re right! If you believe that whatever is happening is the worst thing possible; that is going to be how you experience it. On the other hand if you believe that this sucks but with time this too shall pass, the emotional load you’re carrying won’t be as heavy.
If you believe that life brings with it many ups and downs, adversities as well as good fortune then you will understand that this is simply one of them, and around the corner life will be better. But it’s up to you as to what you choose to think.
You actually do have a magic wand that can diminish your angst and pain. And, that magic wand is in the form of your thoughts. When you get in control of your thoughts it will change the way you feel.
If you’re not sure of what you’re thinking just ask yourself how you feel. If you feel bad it is directly connected to what you’re thinking about.
Or, listen to what you tell other people and yourself about your situation. Listen to the words you use and what you say to describe your situation and you’ll know what you’re thinking.
The bottom line is if you really do want to start feeling better then start thinking better.
“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” -Marcus Aurelius
ENJOY the weekend…Lots of love…Susan
When you wake up in the morning what are the first things you think about? Are you looking forward to your day or do you dread what they day will bring? Do you feel happy or do you feel bad? Are you hopeful or does your worry meter jump to high right out of the gate?
However we start are engines each morning will determine what kind of ride we will take throughout the day.
Most people are so busy rushing around that they don’t even stop and think about it.
They are on auto-pilot and aren’t even aware they are thinking about anything. And whether you’re tuned into your thoughts or not they’re still there regardless of your awareness level.
And rest assured it’s these very thoughts that pave the way for your so called daily ride. Thoughts of worry, anger, fear, frustration, hurt and disappointment are the potholes that make the ride miserable.
Hope, faith, gratitude and believing that God (or your version of God) will pave a way when you don’t see one, not only makes it a more pleasurable ride but you might even notice the scenery along the way. It’s called smelling the roses!
What I recommend for those of you that don’t have time to think about what you’re thinking about is to simply wake up and start each day saying, “YES!”
It’s simple to do and it’s the one word that can almost immediately shift your mood. It has a magical affect that if repeated over and over it can take you off of the bumpy, old dirt road out onto the super highway so you can start to enjoy the ride a little more.
You can’t repeat it too many times. You can say it throughout the day if you want. There are no limits.
Imagine that you just won the lottery. How many “Yeses” would come out of your mouth?
Think of the excitement and emotion you would feel and say “YES” the same way.
Say “YES” to life. Say “YES” to all of your blessings. Your home, your family, your children, your favorite food, friends, clothes, a job, your health, love, nature; just look around and think about all there really IS to say “YES” to.
When you think or say “YES” think about and focus on what you want. Say “YES” to letting go of hurts from the past. Say “YES” to being free from financial worries.
Say “YES” to experiencing the relationships you desire and say “YES” to having a great body. Say “YES” to the career you want or the vacation you see yourself taking.
This one little word can have a big impact on how you start your day.
So what do you say? YES!
Hope you have a great weekend! YES! It’s the weekend…LOVE YOU! Susan
“The person who has stopped being thankful has fallen asleep in life.”
-Robert L. Stevenson
Everyone is thinking all the time whether they realize it or not. Most of our thoughts go unnoticed by us but make no mistake about it, they are constantly looping through your mind just like the background music in the doctor’s office.
Most of the time they are the same old limiting thoughts and beliefs that keep you stuck where you are. Unless you’re already aware of the power of your thoughts and you’re planting positive seeds, your thoughts can hold you in a place of being fearful or having anxiety.
They can also cause you not to live the life you were meant to. And, most of the time, it’s these very thoughts that are causing you to suffer.
It’s like a black cloud following you around. But what you may not realize is that you can part the clouds to feel the sun shining in your life again by creating and implementing new thoughts about these old beliefs.
Many people will do a 3-day cleanse to get rid of toxins from their body. Maybe it’s time to do a mind cleanse and get rid of the toxic thoughts that are polluting your mind and infecting your emotions.
First you need to find out exactly what these thoughts are by becoming more aware of them. What are the words you use when someone asks you how things are going? What is the story that you find yourself repeating to people?
When you wake up in the middle of the night what do you catch yourself thinking about? Are your thoughts filled with worrying about your finances, upset over your kids, angry or hurt over a relationship, self-loathing about your body, concern for your health, sadness about being lonely, fearing what the future will bring or not bring?
What are the thoughts that are keeping you stuck and affecting your mood, your attitude and your outlook on life? What thoughts are you carrying around with you like a ball and chain?
Once you start to become aware of what these thoughts are you can see the insidious effect they have in your life. How can thoughts of worrying over and over about something be productive? How can thoughts of anger and bitterness create peace and happiness?
How can repetitious negative thinking make you feel good on any level? It can’t!
It can only drag you further down into your emotional quagmire and make you feel more hurt, fear or anxiety. And whether you believe it or not, the more you think about what makes you feel bad the worse you’re going to feel.
And, worse yet, what you think about; you bring about!
So let go of all of these negative, destructive kinds of thoughts by doing your mind cleanse. Each time you catch yourself going down “Poor Me Alley” immediately stop yourself. Simply say, “Stop it.” Then release these thoughts and replace them with those that will serve you in a positive way.
Start to think about what you’re grateful for instead. Stop yourself and focus on the blessings in your life. That’s a good place to start because it will show you how to divert yourself from thinking of the things that upset you.
By doing this you will also start to train yourself to be in control of your thinking instead of allowing your thinking to control you. We all have so much to be thankful for that sometimes we are so focused on what’s wrong in our lives that we don’t focus on what’s good.
Cleanse your mind from obsessing on these toxic thoughts for they are poison infecting your life. Only you can choose what thoughts you let in. So what thoughts do you choose?
Hope you have a thoughtful weekend! LOVE …Susan
“You must weed your mind as you would weed your garden.” –Astrid Alauda
Someone asked me the other day how they could make a difference in other’s lives. The problem they said is that they didn’t have a lot of time between working, kids and taking care of everything else to find time to volunteer or give back in some way.
I said, “Don’t put pressure on yourself and worry about the big things because it’s the little things that count too. You can make a difference; all you have to do is just become a little more aware.”
Every day is a new opportunity to make someone’s day. And there are lots of ways you can go about it. People are always looking for their purpose in life. So, while you’re still waiting for the revelation to come to you, why not become a Daymaker while you’re waiting?
It’s easy. You don’t have to sign up. You don’t have to do it from 9-5 and you don’t even have to do it at all if you don’t want to. But, when you do decide to make someone’s day a little bit better, you inadvertently make your day better too.
The good news about becoming a Daymaker is that you’re your own boss. You don’t have anyone telling you how to make someone’s day, you can do it anyway you want, any time you want; when the mood strikes you.
Plus it’s free. It doesn’t cost you anything. No fees for training, schooling or practicing. You can arbitrarily walk around doing and showing acts of kindness through random actions, words and gestures and just like that, in an instant, you can make someone’s day.
And, many times it’s the little things you do or say that make the difference. Whether it’s simply a smile, an unexpected compliment, holding a door open, looking at someone in their eyes when they talk to you, giving a hug or, saying I love you; just spread a little love!
Making someone’s day can run the gamut of random acts of kindness; anywhere from giving money, lending a helping hand or a quiet prayer. You choose.
So what do you think? We can even make our own National Daymaker’s Day! Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone decided to do just one little thing to make someone’s day?
With all the stress, loneliness and sadness that so many people experience it could be the one small word or gesture that you say or do that could make all the difference in their day.
Don’t allow all of your own worries, stresses and fears become so big that you forget how to be nice. Everyone has a bad day now and again. Wouldn’t it be nice if you were they reason they had a good day instead?
Enjoy making someone’s day! Email me and let me know how it made your day too!!! LOVE…Susan
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -Leo Buscaglia
What is it that you believe about yourself and your life? Do you believe in the best and do you fill your life with laughter, hope and joy? Or, do you believe in the worst? Have you given up hope and is joy a fleeting memory?
There are so many stresses and pressures in life that is it any wonder people feel bad, have anxiety and are worried sick over what the future will bring?
Sometimes life dishes out a lot of inedible crap that we should dump in the garbage but instead we swallow it and it becomes a part of us.
We encounter bad people, bad circumstances and bad feelings along our journey and these things have an impact on how we view ourselves and the world.
Unless you have your self-esteem in check and you are Super Secure these kinds of things rock your world and chip away at your foundation. It’s your history.
And it’s that history that causes you to falter when you encounter the next bad thing along the way. It makes you lose a little bit of hope because you’ve been there before and it didn’t work out.
Or, your history stops you dead in your tracks for trying something again because of the pain and anguish it caused you the first time down that road.
And, your history can make you feel gripped by fear, sad and resigned that good things just don’t happen to you; because that is what you’ve experienced in the past.
So how do you crawl out of your history and find the old you; the hopeful, fun and lighthearted person that you used to be?
We all have history that happens to us and it’s what you believe about those situations and how you choose to let them affect you that will make the difference in how you experience life and how you move forward.
Are you happy or sad? Hopeful or scared? Will life be good or bad? Do you have faith or don’t you believe?
The biggest thing to remember is that it all comes down to what we believe. The only thing that can trump history is faith.
What if I were to tell you that without a shadow of a doubt your life is going to turn around? What if you knew that somehow some way things were going to get better and that you are being divinely guided in all of your choices and that the future is going to be awesome?
You would love it, wouldn’t you? It would lift an incredible burden of fear and worry off of your shoulders and you would look forward to your day with excitement and anticipation of what the future may bring.
Well this is what I call faith. It is what you believe about whether you think God (Higher Power/Buddha or whomever or whatever you believe in) has your back or not.
If you can find a way to stay in a mindset of faith it will bring light to where there is darkness.
“According to your faith and trust, be it done to you.” (v.29-30amp) “Become what you believe.” These are powerful thoughts, think about them and ask yourself, “What do you believe?”
What you believe has an incredible impact on how you live. So, “Keep the faith!”
Wishing you stronger faith through the hard times! Love you…Susan
“Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.” – Rabindranath Tagore
Someone emailed me the other day and asked me, “Why do bad people get away with things?” The simple answer to that question is, “That’s Life!”
Many people have had these so called “bad people” effect their lives at one time or another. And the havoc they can wreak in our lives along their path of destruction could bring anyone to their knees.
The worst part is that you didn’t see it coming and you didn’t deserve it.
Take the classic example of Casey Anthony (If you don’t know who she is Google her) she murdered her little 3 year old daughter and a jury unbelievably let her go free. She literally got away with murder. And, there isn’t anything anyone can do about it.
I also know of a woman that was married for 30 years when her husband came home one day, he handed her a business card and said this is my attorney’s number. I want a divorce. Give him a call and you can deal with him. She was totally blindsided; she didn’t see it coming.
I could go on and on and tell you one horror story after another that can rip your heart out.
So what do you do when you are one of those people that have to endure picking up the pieces of your life after the storm passes through?
You start by accepting what is. It is what it is! And, in most cases you just have to accept it. Of course you have the option of not accepting it too. That is a choice. And, when you choose to resist reality is when you suffer.
Sure, you can go over and over it in your mind. You can wish with all of your might that things were different. You can rehash all of the why’s, what if’s and if only’s.
And, when you do that it causes you to stay stuck holding onto this person and drowning in all of the negative emotions that go along with reliving it. And those actions are exactly what stop you from letting go and moving forward.
The good news is; you have a choice as to how you respond to ANYTHING that happens to you in life.
Does reliving it make it go away? No! As a matter of fact it does the exact opposite; it keeps them in the forefront of your mind. It probably consumes you much of your day as well. But get very clear on one thing: that’s a choice.
Or, you can make a different choice.
You can choose to accept what is and start the process of letting them go. You decide.
When “bad people” change your life; when they hurt you, betray you and just make your life miserable, you need to let them go. Bless them and release them!
Choose to stop worrying about what they are doing or thinking. Let go of feelings of revenge, anger, bitterness, wanting them to hurt like you do and wondering if they feel bad.
“Bad people” will come and fortunately go in your life. They only stay when you let them. They linger on long after they are physically gone because you keep them alive and well in your thoughts and mind.
If and when you learn how to forgive them for the unjust pain and misfortune they have caused in your life is when you will free yourself from the negative thoughts and emotions that imprison you. Only you have the key to unlock that door.
Forgiveness doesn’t let them off the hook for what they did and it doesn’t make it okay, it lets YOU off the hook from carrying around the weight of all the heartache, pain, bitterness and ALL of the negativity associated with it.
Forgiveness isn’t something you give them; it is a gift you give yourself!
So, starting today don’t let them take up residency in your brain. Each time you begin down that path of inviting them back in, stop yourself and say, “Today is a new beginning and I leave the past behind.”
You are the only one that can release them from your life. Every time they knock on your brain you make a choice as to whether you’re going to choose to let them in or not. What do you choose?
Wishing you a great weekend free from the past….Lots of love…Susan
“I’m not sure what the future holds but I do know that I’m going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. As my dad said “Nic, it is what it is, it’s not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.” -Nicole Kidman
I just heard a quote today that I loved. “All the water in the world cannot drown you unless it gets inside of you.” -Eleanor Roosevelt. I know that we all have things that if we let them they can get under your skin and will disrupt your peace of mind. And, they often do.
These things can range from big to small, mildly irritating to earth shattering. There are things that bother you that someone said, or didn’t say. A boss that no one likes or respects but all you can do is put up and shut up.
Relationship issues from kids, partners, friends and neighbors. Money related stuff, worries, fears and a whole lot of other garbage that needs to be disposed of on trash day.
But what we do instead of tossing it out is we allow it to creep inside our thoughts and minds and then let it wreak havoc on what could be a really nice day.
The reality is that no matter what you are going through you can either let it in or keep it out and it all boils down to one thing; what you think.
Every time I want to go down that road and start to worry about or fret over something, I have to remind myself of two major factors which always do the trick.
Although they are fairly basic principles and ones that we are all familiar with, we have a tendency to forget to tap into them because we’re too busy being mad or feeling hurt or angry or disappointed or whatever it is you’re feeling.
These two things can be used together or apart but you have to at least do your best to tune into one of them and when you change the way you look at things the things you look at will change.
And these two things are….drum roll please….” Faith and Gratitude.” Oh I know it sounds so cliché but guess what? They work.
If you actually believe in God (or whatever you call your version of God) then where’s your faith? Truly trusting that God is guiding you in ALL that you do, and I mean really believing it, then all the fear, fretting and other stuff that goes along with worrying will be replaced with the peace of knowing that everything is going to work out in the end.
If you really are a believer then you will KNOW that God is guiding you to the right place. And, to take it one step further, you are actually in the right place right now along your journey through life.
When you have faith even through the tough times, especially through the painful times, then you’re talking serious faith. So do you believe? Or, do you just kinda believe?
The other major-mind-changing-exercise is to think of all of the things that you still have in your life to be grateful for regardless of whatever it is you’re going through.
Oh I know, once again, so cliché! But let me tell you this; I’d rather be corny and cliché than suffer and be a victim of my circumstances any day of the week.
Plus there is nothing like putting the real deal about life into perspective. When you put your faith in what you say you believe in, then there really is no need to worry, fret and be fearful.
So when things are bothering you and you’re drowning in your own emotional turmoil turn to the best thing you have in life; your faith and being grateful. When you do that, no matter what’s going on, you can still be happy in spite of it.
Remember this: “It is the Father’s good pleasure to give us the kingdom, and all that the Father has is ours. But we must have the faith and the courage to claim it.” –Charles Fillmore.
Wishing you stronger faith in whatever it is you believe in! Lots of love…Susan