Do You Carry Other People’s Baggage?

Everyone comes to the table with some sort of baggage. And, depending on how you deal with life’s circumstances will determine how heavy or light the load will be.

Your attitude and perspective will make all the difference as to whether you carry it around with you like a ball and chain or if you check it curb-side and not allow it to weigh you down.

Now some people not only carry their own baggage but they also opt to become a personal valet to other people’s baggage by strapping it on and lugging it around with them.

You and they would be far better off learning to unpack some of the bags and get rid of the junk that holds you down.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to stop carrying other people’s baggage. Carrying your own baggage around is hard enough, but when you decide to strap someone else’s garbage on your back, don’t be surprised when life starts to weigh you down.

Other people’s baggage comes in all different shapes and sizes. We carry around other people’s pain by feeling sorry for them and trying to make things better.

I know of a man who wants to fix everyone. He takes on other people’s problems and tries to make them right, even to the tune of lending $24,000 dollars of which he hasn’t seen a dime of yet, and it’s been over a year. Was it worth it?

The irony is before he decided to fix someone else he was fine. Now, by taking on someone else’s problems he has his own baggage of debt to carry, not to mention the betrayal of a friend who basically stole his money.

We sometimes carry other people’s anger and resentment as if it’s our problem when they’re the ones that are angry. I’ve seen a guy try and appease his mother-in-law by going over and above the call of duty only to be told, “You never do enough.”

We allow other people’s choices somehow become our problem when in reality it’s got nothing to do with us, and everything to do with them. Yet we carry it around as if we made the choice ourselves.

We let things people do or say get to us, make us feel bad and we allow it to ruin our day and in some case our lives.

And, sometimes we even throw the person on our backs and carry them around with us as if their happiness is our responsibility.

The truth is that everyone comes to the table with baggage; some of us only have carry-on baggage whereas others are lugging around trunks of junk. But it is not your job to carry it around for them.

What is your job is to recognize that their stuff isn’t your stuff.

For instance, some people think that putting you on a guilt trip is going to make you do what they want you to do. They say things to elicit a reaction because you aren’t doing what they think you “should” be doing.

And, depending upon your response, they’ll know whether they can hook you or not.

When they know they can hook you get ready because every chance they get they are going to be unloading their junk into your trunk!

But if you don’t allow them to dump their garbage into your can, there’s no way it will stink up your life. It will remain where it belongs; in their trash, not yours.

Some people will act like you are responsible for their happiness. Do you think that’s a heavy load to carry?

Some will play victim so you will rescue them when all they really want to do is use you as a dumping ground with all their whining, moaning, complaining about how bad their life is and yet they make no attempts to change a thing.

So, when you see someone walking towards you with all of their mental and emotional baggage; you need to make a decision as to whether you will become their personal valet or not.

Instead you can let them know by your response that even though they choose to weigh themselves down with all of their self-imposed issues, you’re not going to carry it around too. They’re on their own.

My mom always said, “Why do you want to make their stuff, your stuff? Don’t you have enough of your own?”

It’s nice to be nice. But it’s another thing to pick up baggage that doesn’t belong to you and act like it’s yours.

It’s one thing to have empathy, be compassionate and lend an ear, it’s a whole other ball game when you allow someone else’s problems become your own.

So, lighten your load. Kick back relax and enjoy life. If someone chooses to carry a torch for whatever reason, let them; just don’t let it be a burden to you. That’s their choice, don’t make it yours.

I’m happy to be back after my little hiatus! I’ve missed you and as always…wishing you the BEST! Love …Susan

 “Everyone you meet comes with baggage, find someone who cares enough to help you unpack.”  -Ziad K. Adbelnour


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