What Do You Want?

PrintWhat do you want? This is one of those questions that elicits some vague memory of past dreams that never came true.

Typical answers range anywhere from; I want to win the lottery, be happy, find my life’s partner, have a house on the beach, quit my job, lose weight, all the way to – I don’t really know what I want anymore.

And, that last response is closest to the truth than any of the other answers.

Most people simply don’t know what they want. Even if they do know what they really, really want – 97% of them won’t pursue their dreams.

Why? Because they don’t believe they can really have what they want.

When I coach people I ask them to tell me about their relationship. I’ll say, tell me what you have, what is your relationship like?

Then I ask them, if you could have the perfect relationship, tell me what it is you would want in a partner. What do you value in a relationship, what is it that is really important to you?

Next I ask them to explain to me what would be a “deal breaker” in a relationship? Is it cheating, lying, laziness, addiction, disrespect or whatever? What is it that you would absolutely not want to have or to tolerate?

Now here’s the best part. Ironically, what they don’t want is exactly what they have!!! The irony is so palpable that it is one of those “ah ha” moments.

Well, it’s the same thing in life. Think about your life. Think about what you’d really like your life to look like. Now think about what you don’t want in your life.

Again, what you don’t want is usually what you have.

Now granted, it may not be in every area that is lacking but that is because you don’t believe you can have it all.

The key is to start with one aspect of your life whether it’s physical, spiritual, financial, or emotional, choose one area and think about how you would like to live your life.

Given the form in which I’m writing this will have to be the cliff note version of “how to.” If I went into depth it would be too lengthy.

So here you go….Dig deep down and decide what it is you want. Get a very clear picture. Think about it often. Visualize it. Pray about it. Then believe you can achieve it and expect it.

Now, those last 36 words I just typed can either simply be words on paper or they can change your life. It is 100% up to you to take action to implement any kind of change or just continue down the road you’re on and do nothing different.

It all comes down to one thing. What do you really want?


“If you believe it will work out, you will see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.” -Wayne Dyer

Hope you find what you want! Have a great week! Love you…Susan


Susan Russo


  1. So glad you are back Suzan, I have missed you. You have been an inspirational companion to me in times of trouble. Your articles were always an ” uplifter ” for me, continents, oceans and cultures away. But mind like and words close to the heart.
    At 50 of age and after 25 years of marriage, your question is ” in my face” so much that I never wanted, so much that I yearn for, emotionally, spiritually, and that I don’t have, has taken a toll on me. What I want and need is not that difficult nor that abstract, I want more stability, more lightdeness, instead of the constant threat of an ever luring intensity. Wanted closeness and a partenership, instead of surviving despite the unthinkable. I wanted easiness, more acceptance, instead of judgement and negativity. I wanted more laughter and above all a sense of emotional security that I had little of. I m at far better place today then let’s say three years ago. I m stronger, learned to separate myself and stand on my own, not waiting for approval nor concentrating on fixing us anymore. But I m more tired physically then ever, and an after taste of bitterness is always there. I wish I was stronger at times, and clearer about not accepting what was very hard for me to accept…but I wasn’t. I chose though to compromise, to offer stability and keep the family bousom for my kids. But I was not that heroic about it, because intensity was always high in our setting. Felt compelled to share this with you. Do you remember me? The Egyptian lady married to a. Frenchman. I m an artist and I want to send you pictures of my last exhibit, it was all about faces, identity and spirituality. Big cheers to you Suzan.

    • Hi Amani…I DO remember you very well. I’ve missed you too…and our emails. Thank you for your kind words. I’m happy that the article can light a possible new way for you. You know 50 is still VERY young! You have a whole life ahead of you. No need to sacrifice the next 50 years not being happy! I love you and will keep you in my prayers…your friend always…Susan
      I would LOVE to see your pictures…PLEASE send them to me on my email.

      • Amani…one more thing….you are a strong women otherwise you couldn’t have dealt with all of the pain. Some people might say that leaving would be easy when you are so unhappy….but I know it is complicated. But, what is easy about living in misery?

        No wonder you feel tired…it’s as if you have been fighting a losing battle throughout your marriage. You can’t be the only one trying in your marriage. It takes two…always has and always will. That’s not a marriage…that is a one-way street. Or should I say a dead-end street?

        My big question to you is what do you want your life to look like the next 50 years?

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