The question I hear most often is, Why? And the why typically encompasses all events or circumstances in our lives. Why did he leave me? Why did they do this? Why don’t they love me? Why did I lose my job? Why can’t I find someone? And on and on.
Last night while lying in bed at 3:00 a.m. I found myself asking: Why did this have to happen to my mom this way? I have been by her bedside for 3 weeks watching her go through a lot to say the least. I’ll spare the details. I’m watching her becoming weaker every day and keeping an attitude that would seem impossible to most people. She has never once complained and jokes with the nurses and is her usual kind, warm self.
I try to be as strong as I can but the thought of losing her becomes overwhelming since she is my best friend, my biggest supporter and has loved me, encouraged me and I can’t imagine not having her in my life. She is an angel from heaven and I have been truly blessed to have her as my mother.
I was talking with my good friend in Australia last night Lorraine Grace. We were discussing many things including my mom and my pain with it. Anyone in AU, look her up if you need a great counselor. www.gracecounsellingservice.com.au) Anyway, she said when you ask “why” instead ask yourself “how”. (Even coaches need coaches!)
Ask HOW Instead!
Instead of asking why did he leave me, ask how do I deal with this going forward? Why did I lose my job? Instead ask how am I going to find a new one? Why did this happen to my mom this way? Instead, ask how can I make her comfortable while she is still here?
When you ask why, it causes you to stay stuck in what is wrong which you have no control over anyway. It is what it is.Remember, when we resist what is, we suffer. When you ask how, it allows you to move forward. By asking how instead of why it rids you of feeling helpless and being a victim and it gives you direction and purpose.
Lorraine also loves the works of Eckert Tolle. She told me that Eckert Tolle explains that pain comes from the past and future. We cry over the past and wish things were different and we suffer because of it. And when we fear the future and what will happen or not happen, we suffer.
All we have is right now and we need to deal with the present moment. Let go of the past and don’t worry about tomorrow. Take it a day at a time or a step at a time and have faith that God is with you carrying you through your pain when you can no longer walk.
When adversity knocks at your door answer with the divine strength and courage that will pull your through any challenge. Allow your spiritual self lead the way in healing your pain so you can have peace from within.
God bless you all and with all my heart, thank you for your thoughts and prayers…Susan
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Susan, I know it was hard to hear at first but your coaching was a wake up call for me. I don’t know how much more time I would’ve wasted if you hadn’t been so honest with me. Thank you for getting me to see the light. I will be ever grateful! Debbie
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Apr 5, 2012
Overcoming Adversities by Susan Russo « Story Impact: Finding New Strength After Trauma says:
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Apr 5, 2012
Cheryl says:
Hi Susan,
I’m sorry to hear about your mom
Yes it’s true I ask that question often “why this and why that” it’s hard that you want so much to change the situation but can’t do anything about it all we can do is let it be what is it an what it will be. It’s true we cry for the past and the future…I’m currently having a hard time about it for my situation but can’t do anything about it. I wish it will be so easy how we say it “I will make new future…” It must be hard to see losing someone you love specially your mom specially if you have such a great relationship with her…I can’t imagine.
Apr 6, 2012
Susan Russo says:
Hi Cheryl,
Thank you!
Apr 6, 2012
Rosemarie says:
Susan, I had not idea your mom was ill…I went through it so I know the pain…be strong for her and for yourself…and it is true what you said in this blog that is enlightening…you are both blessed to have each other… and I too know you care…may love and peace always
be with us and in us…
Apr 6, 2012
Susan Russo says:
Hi Rosemarie…I am so lucky to have gotten her as my mom! Thank you for your prayers…Susan
Apr 7, 2012
sanya says:
Hi Susan,
Its really sad to hear about your mom….I can easily make out wat pain u ve been through…n its v tough to see our loved one going far from us…especially when its your lovable mom….I am also very close to my mom n she loves me like anything unconditionally…But cant even imagine…I really wish to pray for her and U…..
Apr 11, 2012
Lorraine Grace says:
Hi Suzie,
You are a precious stone, unturned! The magnitude and depth at which you reach the hearts of your subscribers is nothing short of God-appointed! I am honoured to be your friend and Peer-Coach! Warmth & Love, Lorraine Grace
Apr 20, 2012
vicky williams says:
Take courage I loosed my mum 5 years ago and it still hurts, but I know she is now resting safe in the arms of her maker. Your mum was a beautiful flower in the garden God send His angel to take her to decorate His vase.No one like a mum but cheer up you will love each other forever.